5 February 2012, 9:19 pm
There's something up with my wife. It's starting to get beyond the joke. See, the problem is that she has been going behind my back to say that my 'thinking is abnormal'... friends and family that she has told this to have reacted with shock and think there is something wrong with her. Some pay no attention to her, some think she has something wrong with her to talk about her husband that way. Actually, I can see why they would start to feel that I am the one trapped in a marriage to a weirdo. Now the reasons why she might want to say that: I'm searching for work but soon I will be working a part time job of 25-30hrs per week. It's not full time work yet though. I do most of the cleaning, it's just that she feels like she has to say something about it all the time in case I don't clean up. I usually don't stock up on food because she is at work all the time and can eat her meals with her tour group. So it's only necessary to buy the vegetables that we use for cooking on the days that she is home and we are cooking together. I would otherwise just put together something quick and easy for myself (saves on costs). I take her around for her medical checkups and remind her to take her medication. Get up at 7am every morning and make her breakfast before work. I don't clean the room much (something I know I can change) but I do the washing and try to do enough to maintain the house. I understand her frustrations about the work situation. This is something that I have been actively working on. But she keeps calling me idiot and now she is going behind my back to say bad things. She quickly gets over her temper and then she is being all nice and loving to my face. So why is she going behind me to say bad things about me? Retribution because I may have said some things about her to my mother back in China? Probably that's what it is about. I just wish she would hurry up and mature already! And you can't tell me it's a Chinese thing because I know of plenty of normal couples (mixed race and Chinese). For the record, everyone that meets me says I'm not only have a good manner, but they feel I'm very intelligent. Indeed, I have many good ideas but I feel like she is dragging me down (holding me back a bit) with her snide comments. Confronting her doesn't seem to solve any problems. If this is indeed a case of pathological narcissicism, can it be cured? She feels like she has to remind me to do anything - definitely not always the case. I procrastinate a bit but not enough to cause problems. I can still manage the time. If she keeps telling family there is something wrong in my brain, not only will it destroy our marriage, it will make me think she is setting me up to walk out once residency comes through. That seems crazy given that she is concentrating all her energy on getting setup though - saving hard for our first home. What can get her to stop this crazy behaviour? Just adding something small to this, someone has suggested that it is projection of low self esteem amongst her frustrations. That dropping the negative remarks on me are the products of low self esteem in that moment and the best way to respond is with a thick skin approach of letting them know that you are positive and they have low self esteem. What do you think?... Read More »
Share on del.icio.us
Share on digg
Share on Technorati
Share on reddit
Share on Yahoo!
Share on Facebook