29 July 2010, 9:54 am
His name is Sean. Now I'm in my 6th year liking this boy. He's been my best friend. In June 09 I dated his best friend because Sean had a girlfriend and ignored me. I needed a distraction. In August of that year things turned bad because neither of us really liked each other. Then, in September 09, Sean stopped talking to me. Randomly. I didn't do or say anything to him. Bobby (best friend) and I had just been arguing over I don't even remember what and I asked Sean for advice (this is the reason I chose Bobby). He told me what to do and then he just STOPPED talking to me. I started out high school on that rocky note, but on December 1st 2009 he decided that he would come back into my life. Everything was fine and dandy and I smiled in my sleep and was finally at peace..for five days. Then he started ignoring me again, acting indifferent whenever I tried to talk to him. On and off for the rest of the school year, he's alternated between these four attitudes from day to day: best-friend-laughter-and-sunshine best-friend-deep-discussions-and-"I'll-always-be-there-for-you" support really-flirty-let's-be-more-than-friends attention who-are-you-and-why-are-you-talking-to-me. Now that summer is here, he wants nothing to do with me. I haven't had a real conversation with him in 20 days. A few weeks ago, my friend asked him if he knew what was wrong with me, because I've been really upset lately. He said, "I wouldn't know, I haven't talked to her in about a week." She looked at him and said, "Bingo!" and it launched this discussion about how he doesn't like me and he never has, he's liked another girl for like a year, he's not my boyfriend, he doesn't have to talk to me, it's not his fault I'm in love with him, whatever. I agree, it's not his fault, but he can at least be nicer to me? Then, that night I felt really bad because I don't think my friend really portrayed my emotions correctly. I basically apologized and spent 10 minutes texting him pouring my heart out, just to get a "ha ok." Then I continued a little more, hoping to say something that gets the point across, and he replies, "bomers on leno." What is he referring to? Matt Bomer, only the sexiest man alive, who Sean jokingly admits he has a man crush on. It's our inside joke. So when I replied that I'd look it up on youtube the next day since I wasn't home, he just stops talking. I was so confused.. Then he doesn't talk to me until my friend, who knows him very well, started writing rather.. unkind things about him on my facebook wall. Basically, things about how everyone at his boy's school is a DB, how they like breaking hearts, etc. A few minutes later I get a text from him saying that, yes he was fighting with her but he was fed up, etc. So we spent about 3 minutes lightheartedly joking about the girl's little quirks and then he had to go. A few days later, I asked him what ended up happening. His response? "idk." I responded indifferently as well, "oh ok," and we haven't spoken since. I've been a wreck, shutting people out emotionally and randomly crying throughout the day, I haven't eaten in 2 days and I bite my arms because I just hate myself so much. They say that it takes one half of the amount of time you liked someone to get over them. That leaves me with 2.5 years of this. If there was another boy in the picture, I imagine it would be different. But I don't see anything in any other guys. I try, so hard. There are at least 5 other guys that I could have right now if I wanted, but they're all so boring compared to Sean. I try so hard to remember everything that he's done to me to make me so miserable, but then I remember all of our jokes from when we were like 10, and how he's been such a great friend to me in the past, and then I remember that he's still like that when I'm not as annoying. So my questions, 1.) Could someone try to decipher what he's said to me? 2.) What should I do now? 3.) Is it going to be like this forever? For the rest of high school, yes, I know. 4.) Would finding another guy be an appropriate course of action? Where do I find guys when I go to an all-girls school? Both of the boys schools are full of evil people, it's not fair. Ugh. If someone reads this whole thing the whole way through, I would be thrilled.... Read More »
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